don`t hold back

i don't know anymore ... it's only been three days ... he knows how i am when we break up . he knows that i am desperate for his love . he knows how crazy i can get. x) but i'm going to be strong . i won't fight , and i'll leave the decision up to him . no one feels that this is the official one , but both he and i know that it is . they always say , " if you love something let it go. if it comes back around , then you both were meant to be . if not , then it was never meant to be yours . " the first time , you came back around . you are meant to be mines . & this time , i guess it's my turn to come back around . but the real question is , do you still want me in your life ? am i still the one you wanted from the beginning ? gosh babyy , i've got so much question to ask you when you're away . but when you're really there , i have nothing but to want to hug and cry all over you . you're so special to me , but words can never define action .

i miss how you use to hold me , and place your gentle kisses upon my cheeks . i miss how you use to tell me that i'm the one for you , and how you put my hands in your pocket to keep it warm . i miss how you ask me if i'm okay, and how you push me away but pull me back everytime . i miss how you smell in the morning , and how your hair is when you're lazy to fix it . i miss the harsh kisses you push upon me , and the way you ask me if i'm cold ; even if i say no , you still wrap your arms around my body . i miss how you know when my fingers are cold and wrap them inside your hands . i miss how you pull my arms around you . i miss your cocky-ness and the way you talk so conceitedly . i miss how you touch my cheeks with one finger and the way you cheer me up . i miss your tiring voice when you call me late a night and the how you want to go to sleep , but still try to stay on with me to satisfy my need to talk to you . i miss how you make me desperate to be with you , and the way you make me jealous . i can go on forever about the things i miss about you , but the thing that i miss the most about you is the way you & i use to be . the way you use to love me & the way i use to love you .

* yes , i want him back in my life like how it all started in the beginning.