Today at YLI, Randy Reyes came and talked to us about the play produced by MU Theatres called "WTF" and this was a quote he said. [Or something similar to that.] And it really touched me. It really did. It kind of made me want to tear up because he was right. It will only hurt for only a little while; whether that is 1 year, 2 years, or 20 years. It's not your entire life that you'll spend hurting. It will always be heal. And if I think about it...I'm not healed yet, but I am numb. I just need to get past that point.
Today is our 2 years anniversary since the day we broke up. But I guess today doesn't really make a difference. I'm still me, and you're still you. I'm still here, and you're with someone else.
Padee asked me, "So...it's 2 years...how do you feel?" ... Honestly, I don't feel any different. Because things will always be this way no matter where we go in life. I am not broken, nor am I torn. I am not healed, nor am I hurt. I'm just...cold, numb, and frozen. I'm just different now compare to who I was back then. Self-cautious, yet, I don't give a damn. I tend to hurt people who wants to get to know me, yet I don't care. It's just like a shoulder response to everything that happens around me. I'm walking alone in a world where everything is just about me. I guess the phrase for it would be, "I DON'T GIVE A FUCK!" I guess that's just who I will be for now on out. & I don't want anybody to change that. I want to change that for myself.
Love is just a phrase...it's just a part of my life. I got greater things to accomplish...and I don't need a guy to stand in my way and tell me, "You can't do that." It's what I've learned from the last two years and I'm proud of it.
This is me, like it, love it, or leave! ♥
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