Rock Bottom

It's been the longest time since I've blogged. Wow...can't believe how fast time has passed. Can't believe next month will be one whole year! I feel excited, yet at the same time, I feel scared. It's like, damn, it's really been a year. I can't believe it...

It was a long time ago when I went back & re-read the blogs I blogged about him. Hahaha, I feel so foolish. It's like I blog every other hour just to make myself feel better. It kinda hurts reading them. LOL. Though, the pain should be totally not there anymore. I feel foolish, yet proud. (:

Sometime I think about falling again, but every time I think about it, my heart hits rock bottom. It's like my heart won't let me go yet. It's like the past still dingles on an invisible string. I no longer think about him, and I can careless about the dumb things he does now adays, but there's just something about him that I can't find the strength to let go of.

Sometimes I think about falling and all the great feelings and emotions you get of missing that person, talking to that person, and being with that person, but when I think about the ending of it, damn does it just totally kill the mood. I don't think I can bare going through another break up. I think I would just totally lose myself then. Hahaha...like those insane girls in those drama movies.

Sigh...but whatever. We'll see how the year goes. I'm planning for things to stay this way for awhile. Though everytime I plan something, it never works out. So who knows. We'll let the future decide. All I know is that I'm ready for whatever is coming my way. (: