HEARTLESS?

I tried to get a conversation going on tonight with him because I just wanted to talk like normal friends. I guess it's not gonna work out as I plan. He's just like so serious & so sensitive. Always apologizing to me. I don't understand why. Like yeah, maybe he thinks I'm getting mad and stuff, and apologizing is good sometimes, but when you over do it, it's like, there's no reason. You just wanna say sorry because you think you did something wrong. You don't even know the reason why you're say sorry; it's like you don't even mean it. Idk.

I've been very open to him lately. Telling him everything that I can. But this week, I've stopped being open cause I feel like I'm not getting the same back. I remember when we broke up, he said to me that I was a close friend to him; closer than Lucky-and Lucky to him was like family. So he always told me everything and I figured I'll tell him everything too cause I wanted to return the favor. But lately, since he's been down, everything is just closed, He just doesn't seem to open up anymore. So I've decided to close up too. What's the point of updating someone on you, when they themselves don't even wanna let you know what's up with them? I've figured, no use.

I feel like such a heartless bitch these days. Jari asked me who I was going to ask to Sadies. I told him, no one. Sadies still bring back the memories, it still brings back the pain. So I prefer no sadies, nor will I go to sno daze either. I think I'm going to not go to anymore dances this year. Sadies with him was good enough for me my freshman year. Come to think of it, Homecoming & Sadies were the only dances I've ever been to, and I think they will be the last. Except for PROM & Boat Dance. I mean, CMON, I HAVE TO GO MANN. Hehehe.

Damn you know what? Ge is so confusing. He tells me he misses me & it feels like he's loved me all his life, but then again, he goes and says that he doesn't know if he'll love me with all his heart. Like his body might be with me, but he might feel empty inside. Like...Uhhhhh...WHERE ARE YOU GOING WITH THIS?! LOL. It's confusing. Idk if I'm going to be serious with him. He's giving me second thoughts. Hmm.... Ge is a QUESTION MARK. But he makes me smile when I read his emails. xD