Finally!

Finally I get to blog! It's been the longest time ever! I swear! Well, there hasn't really even been much that's happened, but my feelings have been flying all over & everywhere! & I feel kind of ashamed to admit it. :(

Well anyways, he's been there since we got to know about the "volleyball" thing over at Phalen, but I just never really ever noticed him until this year after "Ouamay Annabeway". LOL. [Don't even ask about that story. Gives me goosebumps & I'm sure this one will after this year as well.] But I am ashamed to admit it because I don't understand my feelings at all. I dislike it when he's checking out other girls, when he's texting, & when he's flirting around with some chick, but at the same time, I don't even know this dude. Besides all that, he's a Vang [mannn, why do all the guys I like have to be freakin Vang's?! It's sooo annoying me!], and he's like my mom's age! LOL. I know right? I'm not suppose to be like freaking liking guys who are my mom's age, but I don't understand why I like him!!! He's so...funny & he's single; never been married before too! ... He's not even that great looking nor does he have a good body. I just like him! Maybe because he has a cute personality & a good sense of humor. Maybe because he's "manly" unlike the ones I've dated before. [Okay that doesn't even sound right or make sense, but whatever. I know what I mean! It's just hard to explain!]

The first time I noticed him was when Chria was like, "He looks like Aday's Intway." LOL. & then again when he showed up at our shaman ceremony. LOL. I still remember how freakin dorky he looked! Hahaha. I think he was dressed in a maroon colored formal shirt, & some really funny dressed pants. Hahaha. & we were downstairs & he was going around tying strings to us & he came up to me & tied a string on mines. He was the only one [besides the shaman dude & the older people] who said blessings when he tied. LOL. I forgot what he said, but I remember my heart beating really fast & myself sweating. Hahaha. Funny me; I'm such a dork!

Either way, I really hope that next year it's onto another Phalen guy who is still young & is single & never married before cause it's just wrong to like him & any other guys who are like him! He could be mistaken for my big brother or uncle & I like him? Besides, he's a Vang! Why the heck...Let's hope this other guy @ Phalen [who looks around his late teens & early 20's] is single & isn't a Vang! He's known as "Dragonfly". LOL. Long story, don't ask. LOL. But I think his name is "Cheng" cause I keep hearing them shout that when he's trying to hit the ball on the court which he kinda sucks at. LOL. Though I have a big feeling that the guy he comes to play with at Phalen is a Vang. >;/ But oh well. We'll see what happens. ;]

But ugh! The big thing is to get over that dude! Hate the feeling of wanting to see him so bad when I arrive there, wanting to stare at him, & wanting to see him before I leave! So annoying! Feeling ashamed & bad about the whole thing! It's starting to really annoy me but I can't help but feel that way. Like seriously! & Jennifer told me that he likes me too! Which made it even worst! She was like, "There was this one night when Dad them were all drinking beer & they were drunk but he wasn't drunk cause he was only drinking energy drink & Dad was like, 'I'll let you talk to one of my daughters.' & he replied, 'Which one?' & Dad said, 'The oldest one.' Then he replied, 'Okay, but when can I start talking to her?' & Dad said, 'The next time you see her!' & he said okay to Dad's offer!" Like OMGGGOOOODNNNESSS! And ontop of all of that, OUR CAR GOT STOLEN ON THE 24TH OF AUGUST & I had to ride home with him TWICE! Which made everything even worst cause I really enjoyed riding in the car with him cause one of my biggest...you can say "dating fantasies" is be in the passenger's side while my boyfriend is driving the car. LOL. Idk why I like that so much, but just the thought of it is sooo romantic! & also when you two are sitting together & it's raining hard outside & you two are just cuddling together. Like...GOODNESS SO ROMANTIC! LOL. But I have a feeling that won't happen! But I'm getting off topic so ANYWAYS, back to that, RIDING IN THE CAR WITH HIM MADE IT WORST! UGHH! I don't want to go to Phalen anymore so I could stop seeing him & stop feeling this, but I also want to see him so bad as well! WTFUDGEE is wrong with me. You see why I'm ashamed now? Freakin sucks ass mannn!!!!!!