There are so many things I wish I can say, I wish I can do, and I wish I can show. But there are so many reasons why I hold back, I keep quiet, and I don't express. I think school ending and with him going away so quickly, it has just totally stumped me. I feel like I haven't been able to go anywhere, but do so many things to keep myself busy and to keep things from my mind. My desire to talk to him, my desire to want to be next to him, to just get a peek at him, becomes greater and greater each day.
It's going to be a long summer, I can for sure see that already. It's going to be really long. I'm going to have to do so many things to not remind myself of him. My summer's planned out already, but I guess there are always moments when I can slip him in there. It makes me miserable how the things I want to do for him, I can't. It makes me sad how he doesn't seem to seek for my help and advice anymore. Rather, he goes and seeks someone else. I guess things change for a reason, and I hope every reason that caused this change is very reasonable.
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